First XV

1. Tom Cloake

2. Chris Lewis

3. Peter Rogers

4. Tom Stevens

5. Oli Squires

6. John Waterfield

7. Lawrence Szymanski

8. Will Blevins

9. Sebastian Molyneux

10. LLoyd Collier

11. Tom Wright

12. Alex Small

13. James Wright

14. Tom Jowitt

15. David Walker

Subs

16. Lyndon Wells

17. Sam Pearson

18. Patrick Smith

19. Tom Axon

20. Jonathan Hill

21. Sam Bourke

Meet at NCP at 12.45 in Kit. Any issues text TMoD on 07875311924.  

The christrmas period has been hard on everyone. Rapey had a couple of alcohol related admissions, Rodgey required the services of the out of hours psychiatry team and lets all spare a thought for nervous disposition junior who spent christmas under the new selly oak-harborne flyover. So it was with a bit of trepidation that we ventured across to Nottingham for the last game in the pool stages of NAMS. The last game had been a close affair with us running out narrow victors in an unusually competitive game.

The meet time was 11.30 so we turned up at 12. Late is definately in this season (squires told me whilst wearing a rather fetching piece of knitwear so it must be true.) On arrival at the destination it soon became clear that for some the journey had not gone entirely smoothly. Philatetes, Moses, the fat controller and mr 'strong but fat' had gotten lost.  This is a recurrent theme for Scott who claims to have had no part in this which seems plausible but there is a weight of evidence building against him that perhaps there is some correlation between his presence and the failure of basic geography. 

 In the end it turned out alright as the mozzarella man declared himself fit to play despite only having a 30 second warm up and we had enough strength in depth to cover for the others. 

And so to writing about the actual game, which I freely admit is a bit of a weak point for me as I don't really know all that much about rugby. What I do know is that the world was watching us, or at least in the deluded mind of Rodgey who was a bit mental even for him before kickoff, headbutting Seb and scaring poor little lloyd.

The first few minutes were good for us controlling most of the ball and using the wind well to plant ourselves in the corner with some well judged kicking. Points were however hard to come by thanks to some strong defence from the opposition. We ended the period of dominance having only taken 3 points and were soon punished for this by a well taken try from Notts. A good break by one of their backs was followed up by a great offload and some good support play by the forwards for a neat score in the corner. I assume the kick was missed due to the re-emergence of hurricane Katrina.  A penalty for us followed kicked by Huw Bennet and then the best moment of the second half. A great break from wiggles from his own ten metre line started it but the outrageous offload and subsequent pickup by cheesebags finished it off. It was in fact one of the most suprising pieces of athletisism in modern history.

So at half time we were a few points up but can't remember exactly what the score was. Smalls made use of the subs at this point particularly in the forwards which was appreciated because my balls had begun their ascent out of my scrotum in the horrendous conditions. I promptly dropped the next kickoff and highlighted startling ineptitude in this department. Then a pivotal moment in the game. Mini went on the rob. He had obviously managed to acquire a financial times to sleep in and seen that the price of rugby balls had made a big move in the Dow-Jones in recent weeks. He saw this as a great opportunity to make a new life for himself so decided he was going to lie on the ball whenever possible and try and get away with pinching it. This resulted with him receiving a yellow card. I'd like to think that if the ref had of known the full circumstances he would have received a more leniant sentence. 

For some reason this greatly improved our general play as we scored two tries in about five minutes with homeless Harry off looking for shelter. Wiggles scored one from a close range pick and go and Athers proved he is a capable dual code sportsman finishing off a good move in the corner. Then when Mini came back on we went off the boil and let them back in the game. This was disapointing as we had done exactly the same in the previous game. A couple of tries by them meant with five minutes remaining we were defending for our lives with the score at 23-19 in our favour. What followed was probably the best few minutes of the season so far with a great effort from all fifteen on the pitch especially the forwards who drove back wave after wave of attack and when the whistle blew we had somehow managed to maintain our small lead.

So a good win for the club and the first xv maintain their unbeaten run this season and secure a home quarterfinal in the next stage of the competition.

Post rugby activities included a trip to gunnies because TC's has apparently lost their licence which doesn't come as a massive shock it must be said and a conversation with Robbie Savage about how my mother was an avid strictly come dancing watcher. Some people are just blessed with epic chat. Next week sees a trip down to Southampton and THIS INCLUDES YOU SECOND TEAM in case longhandle forgets to inform you and the current plan is to stay down there for a nightout so make suitable excuses with spouses, parents and Fab withdrawal councellors.

Final score 23-19.

Man of the match - Wiggles

Written by Tbbto 

1. Cuddles

2.Anish

3. Pumba

4. Captain Looongface

5. Westy

6. Luke Mills

7. Racist Janesh

8. Scooter McNasty

9. Hey Arnold

10. Squirrel

11.  Wolfy

12. Boring Neil

13. Cage

14. Tom

15. Tim Charlton 

Subs - Morris, Freaky, Snuggles and anyone else who I have forgotten to mention.  Meet at north car park at 12 on Saturday.  We only have 3 cars at the moment, so if you know someone who can drive and likes rugby please bring them along

Right everyone its the time of year were everyone donns their best attire and attempts to schneef on some pretty heinous rugby birds. 

The date for the big day is 25th February and its going to be good. Obviously the venue is a much kept secret but we have been there before and they are remarkably having us back. Everyone associated with the club is welcome and we hope we have given you old boys enough time to get the day off work or get Rodgers to babysit. I will attempt to set up an online payment system but will almost certainly be unsuccessful so cheques for Disco and Homeless Harry will probably be required. I will fill you in on the price and who to pay them out to when these specials get around to telling me. 

Cheers everyone and hope to see as many people there as possible. 

1. Pumba

2. Snuggles

3. Cuddles

4. Maynard

5. Freaky Jizzle

6. Captain Looongface

7. Pink eye/Luke mason

8. Racist Janesh

9. Hey Arnold

10. The flying squirrel

11. Sshhhh!!/Sky

12. Tea Bag/fat boy slim

13. Rupert

14. The Big Bad Wolf

15. Frodo

Subs

Westy, Scooter, McSmoochy, Tim Charlton, Boring, Morris, Floppsy, Dylan, Reggie? and anyone who I may have forgotten. 

Make sure you lads are at Metchley for 12.30 changed and ready to warm up.  2pm KO

Having beaten mechanical engineering the week before, we had another huge game which was against Law.   The loss in the final in the final play of extra time by 3 points the previous season was still fresh in all of our minds and we were in need of a strong win. 

We kicked off first, but the opposition started strong and we were, like against engineering soon in our own 22 and at points next to our try line.  We had a hesitant start, but we soon became more switched on and were defending well.  Then an error by Law meant that we were on the counter attack initiated by Scooter McNasty.  A good pass out of tackle meant that it was GEC luke’s turn to have a run who managed to fend off several tackles.  Having gained an enormous amount of ground he had almost slowed to a standstill due to the glancing tackles, but was a few meters away from the try line.  Luke managed to jump over the try line with the ball as a couple of defenders jumped on top of him.  Quite comically, one of the opposition players tried to get his hands under the ball a couple of seconds after it had been grounded, but a try was a try in the end.  This was a very well worked try considering the amount of pressure that we were absorbing and great use of the opportunity to counter attack as the opposition had suddenly switched from attack to defence. 

The lineouts were working well as we mixed them around a bit at the start, but soon realised that no one on the law team was jumping at the second pod.  So, we decided to jump where they were not jumping which was at the second pod each time we attacked and we had a very high hit rate throughout the match.  We ended up on their 22 meter line with our own lineout.  So, as usual we hit the 2^nd pod with Captain Longface catching.  We set up a maul very nicely and we were soon making our way up the pitch to the try line.  One of the opposition players tried the usual trick of trying to bring the maul down by tripping us up with his body, but nothing was going to stop this beast of a maul with GEC luke steering at the back.  Soon the inevitable happened and the whole maul was over the try line and luke scored from the back.  This was our second try and it was tempting to get complacent early on in the game. 

However, we were soon attacking in their half again and Sam and Scouse Tom were both cutting lines through the law defence.  As one bystander put it, “it is as if they had given up tackling for lent 3 months early” (McGooch, 2011).  Scouse Tom strolled through a few tackles and managed to get 2 tries for the Airsharks. 

With a solid 4 tries, we went into the second half perhaps a bit too complacent.  Law managed to score a couple of well run tries as our defence let through a couple of mistackles and at one point we were losing the half 2 tries to 1.  After those 2 tries, we did not let any more through.  Throughout the second half, law were putting more pressure on us in the lineout.  There were a couple of occasions where they front jumper managed to steal the ball when it was going to our second jumper.  They were also doing well when we had caught the ball and set the maul and were frequently coming through and hassling the jumper.  Early in the second half, the Airsharks had managed to work their way up to the opposition try line with our own lineout to play from.  The opportunity arose to play a “9” ball, however, with the realisation that this would involve lifting Westy who had just come on, it was decided that a simple off the top ball was more appropriate.  The lineout worked, Rupert drew the opposition 10 towards him and a pop off to a storming line from Ding led to a very well worked try.  Ding scored a hat-trick for the Airsharks, which was the first hat-trick of the season.   

Everyone loves watching props run in open space, which is what happened to Westy during the second half.  His first break away run saw him taking the ball from the back of maul and deflecting several tackles.  His second break away run was more spectacular as he outran one of the law players down the wing and managed to get over the try line, which would have been his first try for the club.  Having deceived this law player by this unexpected pace, he was gutted when he realised that his first try for the club had not been awarded as the pass to him had been forward.  As it is quite usual for a prop to go through his career not scoring many points, it was thought best to award him a compensatory pseudo-try for which he has yet to complete a 3pc.  Dick of the day was awarded to Scooter McNasty for being red carded for letting one of the opposition players nut him in the face.

The final score was 50-14 and although the Airsharks had let a couple of tries through, it was an excellent performance overall. 

Poor old Captain Longface cannot remember everything that happened during the game, particularly in the backs.  If there is anything that he has missed out or if he has confused some of the facts, please let him know at the next training session.

First XV

1. Jacob Matthews

2. Thomas Cloake

3. Peter Lowther Rogers

4. Thomas Stevens

5. Sam Pearson

6. Jonathan Waterfield

7. Lawrence Szym ... Mini Thomas Cloake

8. William Blevins

9. Sebastian Molyneux

10. Lloyd Collier

11. James Wright

12. The Master of Disaster

13. Jonathan Hill

14. James Wright

15. David Walker

Subs

16. Christopher Lewis

17. Oliver Squires

18. Patrick Smith

19. Joshua Whittaker

20. Thomas Wright

Meet IN KIT at the NCP at 12.45. Any questions text TMoD on 07875311924. 

Traditionally mechanical engineering has been a tough fixture for the Airsharks, but a fixture we have never lost.  Although, we had beaten them 31-12 the previous year, there were still bitter memories of a 17- all draw the year before that, having been 17-3 up at half time which was partially down to playing on “the hill”.  As usual an air ambulance decided to land on the pitch we were about to play on, but it soon went away.  As the “hill” was seen to be quite hilly to play on, it was decided to play on a pitch with a flatter gradient.  The match started unevenly for the Airsharks as we were absorbing a lot of pressure in our own 22 which eventually led to 3 points being scored by Engineering.  There were a couple close incidents where a dangerous engineering winger managed to slip through a few of our girlier tackles, however he was eventually brought down just before our try line

We soon gained momentum and we were putting lots of pressure in their half.  By a bit of accidental blocking by captain Longface, a huge hole appeared in the defence right in front of Trappy who managed to sneak through scoring the first try of the game. 

Engineering then restarted and kicked off and Captain Longface ran over to catch it, almost missed it but managed to catch it with his trusty long face.  Leo (scrum half) was working the forwards hard crashing the ball up with plenty of piggy and medic balls which managed to suck in much of the defence.  The lineouts were doing very well with Racist Janesh winning all our own ball and much of Engineering’s ball as well.  We were however struggling against a well drilled pack in the scrums and lost a few of our put ins.  And then, at about 25 minutes into the first half, the Dick of the Day moment arrived when Jimmy spear tackled (actually quite impressively) one of the opposition forwards severely hurting him and so was sin binned for 10 minutes.   With one man down in the forwards, we had to really work hard as a team in order to keep on top in the game.  However, a combination of hard grafting by the forwards and well worked play by the backs meant that we spent much of those ten minutes in opposition territory.  There was also a bit of good luck as there were very few scrums during those ten minutes.  A couple of lineouts next to their try line were instantly sacked as the jumper hit the floor and so other means were needed to try and score a second try.  This try eventually came through a maul with Racist steering and eventually scoring from the back.   At half time, it was 15-3 and having scored with one man down, we were feeling pretty good about how the match was going and were perhaps a bit too confident. 

The second half was a well fought one, but no points were put on the board by either team.  There was one moment in the game where we were in our own 22 and Engineering had possession.  Engineering dropped the ball and Flopsy kicked the ball whilst it was on the floor.  Chasing after it, Flopsy managed to gain much ground through doing this and we found ourselves next to the opposition’s 22.  However, this was short lived, as multiple penalties meant that we were soon back in our own half.  The second half saw a very good performance by  The...Big...Bad...Wolf who seemed to be constantly slicing through a number of tackles.   

Overall, it was a very good performance, particularly from the back row that showed a phenomenal work rate and physicality.  This was an important win against our old rivals and would be a psychological boost for our preparation against Law the following weekend

Poor old captain longface does not always remember what has occured during the match, so if he has written something wrong or missed something significant that hapenned during the game, please tell him at the next training session